it's okay she says i can handle it. liar_*

no, not now please when promos are so near.  not when the days ahead are bound to be worse than ever. not when the days ahead are going to bring much more than i can handle. not when the days ahead are when i need you more than ever. 

i shouldn't be so selfish. i shouldn't justify my needs. 

i might as well just live alone. 

i'll watch you from a distance. i'll watch that smile and i'll watch your sleep. but that's about it, i'll just watch while you act in front of me. i don't think i'll change the channel. im addicted to it. reality shows aren't that real anymore well cause, i'll just be watching. i'm not going to exist anymore. i just got promoted from the involved to the isolated. at least i hope, you'll be happy. 

much more than a friend yet much less than one. oh the joy and agony. 

"leave things as it is," the undefined whispered.  

"it won't be the same," she mutters to herself. "it won't be."

silly girl

oh when the days ahead are bound to be worse than ever and i need you more than ever. 

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath.
And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth.
Tell me that we belong together,
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.

I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed.
You're my survival, you're my living proof.
My love is alive -- not dead.
Tell me that we belong together.
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.
I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said